"small happy"

it’s been some tiring weeks, mostly of not knowing why i felt so tired to begin with. from yesterday to this morning, i was really exhausted from thinking about having to repeat certain structures and setups, and i was worrying about a future that only existed in my head.

when the day ended earlier than i had expected, easier (though still with a measure of work) than i had thought, i was filled with gratitude. thankful for people to help out without complaining, for piping hot pizza, for mindless conversations, for figuring out small things, and for connecting new dots.

when i finally came home after what was supposed to be a tiring drive, i felt the cliched “heart is full” moment. cliched but true.

i won’t always remember this feeling, so i’ll leave this here. for my future self to come back to it whenever i need it again.

p/s: being bilingual (multi-lingual? i sometimes talk to myself in broken Japanese and Korean these days.) is a little funny. the mandarin words came to me first, but the english words aren’t a literal translation, but rather a translation of the feeling that was deposited in my heart.

and honestly, i don’t really wanna give anyone the literal translation. i just hope you get to feel the peachy warmth i felt today.

thank You, thank You, thank You.

2021-11-14